theonion:
““Maybe I got sidetracked working on all the hands and feet and everything and just never came back to their souls.” – The Lord God Almighty, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness
More.
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theonion:

“Maybe I got sidetracked working on all the hands and feet and everything and just never came back to their souls.” – The Lord God Almighty, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness

More.

Tags: god lol

"Because the god who created this universe, if it was created by a god, is quite clearly a maniac, utter maniac, totally selfish. We have to spend our life on our knees thanking him? What kind of God would do that? Yes, the world is very splendid, but it also has in it insects whose whole life cycle is to burrow into the eyes of children and make them blind. They eat outwards from the eyes. Why? Why did you do that to us? You could easily have made a creation in which that didn’t exist. It is simply not acceptable."

Stephen Fry Says That If There Is A God He Must Be “Utterly Evil”

LOL!!

proud-atheist:
“ If God could see us now
http://proud-atheist.tumblr.com
”
…Yeah.

<3

"As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a God. I don’t think there is a God, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a God. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different God, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are."

Ricky Gervais, Why I’m an Atheist   (via cronicadenecios)

I love that “say” thrown in there.

(via cronicadenecios)

Epicurus

garchagudashvili:

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able, and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God.
- Epicurus

Good point.

(via buffleheadcabin)

Tags: god evil

"Sooner or later you just figure out there are some guys who don’t believe in God and they can prove He doesn’t exist, and some other guys who do believe in God and they can prove He does exist, and the argument stopped being about God a long time ago and now it’s about who is smarter, and honestly I don’t care."

— Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz (via mikefoley2)

animalstalkinginallcaps:
“ GOD, DON’T YOU THINK IT’S TIME YOU ADDRESSED YOUR CREATIONS DIRECTLY? UPDATED YOUR LAWS AND COMMANDMENTS AND CLEARED UP ANY MISINTERPRETATIONS? THINGS ARE PRETTY BAD DOWN HERE.
I was going to, but I can’t get verified on...

animalstalkinginallcaps:

GOD, DON’T YOU THINK IT’S TIME YOU ADDRESSED YOUR CREATIONS DIRECTLY? UPDATED YOUR LAWS AND COMMANDMENTS AND CLEARED UP ANY MISINTERPRETATIONS? THINGS ARE PRETTY BAD DOWN HERE.

I was going to, but I can’t get verified on Twitter because I forgot My old hotmail password. 

CAN’T YOU JUST SHOW UP IN THE SKY OR SOMETHING? BIG PYROTECHNICS DISPLAY, AMPLIFIED VOICE, ETC?

That doesn’t mean anything anymore. I just went to go see hologram Tupac on tour. It’s the same thing.

SHIT, YOU’RE RIGHT. WE’VE GOT TO GET YOU VERIFIED.

That’s what I’ve been saying.

"Look, I don’t know, maybe I haven’t made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again,” said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. “Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don’t. And to be honest, I’m really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand."

God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source

Found on Facebook.
Pretty sure you could insert “animals” where it says “dogs”.

Found on Facebook.

Pretty sure you could insert “animals” where it says “dogs”.

Tags: animals god dogs